The Link Life 2
by NastyAlien45
Summary: Raw and Completely Exposed. A story of Link's Life three years after The Link Life 1. Link has made a huge mistake that he could regret forever.
1. Day 1

NOTE: It is strongly recommended that you read The Link Life 1 before proceeding. I couldn't put the link to the story on here due to technical difficulties. The first story is located here on FanFiction.

The Link Life 2.

Raw and Completely Exposed

**Time: Three years after The Link Life 1. Link has been fully established as the Hero of Hyrule again, and he is loving every second of it. Sharpened from the blood of battle, Link's sword thrusts and kills any threat that reigns upon the land of Hyrule. Link is the sole protector once more. Hyrule no longer needs to feel threatened. Link took command of his throne, and he confidently felt like nothing would stop him. Everything seemed to be going Link's way once again.**

**Setting: Termina Field**

**Because of all the kickass things Link was doing, things were getting dull in Hyrule. He decided to change his setting and live in Termina Field. After a few months, Termina Field was invaded by a massive army of grotesque monsters. Solely by himself, Link rode off to the outskirts of the field and fought off the entire army. His power was unstoppable. His confidence was overwhelming. Link was at the peak of his Heroic Career, and Termina Field adored him for it. Link was living the good life, but not without working hard of course.**

(Termina Field)** Termina Local Time: 5:45 P.M.**  
(Clock Town)

::The sun was setting::  
::Link returns from fighting the epic battle with an entire army::  
::He did not have a single scratch on him::  
::His clothes were untouched, and his confidence was piercingly radiant::  
::He rode into the town with his head held high, and absorbed just how much the people of Termina really depended on him, respectively::  
::He conquered Hyrule, and now he was adoring his new reputation in Termina Field::  
::Women fled to the feet of Epona and started screaming at Link with utter joy::  
::Link ties up Epona and jumps off::  
::The Mayor of Termina Field meets Link with a beer::  
::Link raises the beer high and smiles brightly::

Link: (Confidently) I am the best!

::The majority of the town gathers before Link to cheer him on::

Mayor: Would you like to be awarded with an overwhelmingly amount of women?  
Link: No sir. I don't feel the need to engage in sexual activities right now. I would just like to savor my accomplishment  
Mayer: Very well Link. This town appreciates your hard work!

::The Mayor walks up to Link and puts his arm around him::

Mayer: (Smiling brightly and nudging Link) I would like to have a few words with you… hero.

::Link and the Mayor forcefully make their way through the crowd of Link's raging fans::

(Mayor's Office) **Termina Local Time: 6:10 P.M.**

::Link and the Major walk into the office::  
::The Mayor shuts the door quickly::  
::The Mayor was a short, fat man with a bald head::  
::He wore black overalls and a colorful outfit::  
::He wore a hat that was rounded at the bottom and pointy at the top::  
::Link has a seat in front of the Mayor's desk::  
::A large window beamed in light from behind the Mayor's Desk::  
::It was a very quiet, conservative room, with trophies and pictures of the Mayor's accomplishments::

Mayor: (Loud, commanding voice) I'm glad we are behind closed doors. Link, I have an important proposal to ask of you.  
Link: Save more kittens? I can really do more you know.  
Mayor: Heavens no. You are the best soldier this town has ever seen Link.  
Link: (Confidently) Well I have conquered two lands, the sea, and several video games. That sounds about right.  
Mayor: You have done so much after killing that cunt Zelda.  
Link: I had to establish a new form of government, lower the crime rate drastically, and make Hyrule able to sustain itself without me.  
Mayor: How is Hyrule doing without you? It must be in shambles.  
Link: Actually, the crime rate is extremely low. The criminals are so afraid of me there that they are afraid to simply commit a crime. I have several people throughout Hyrule that yell my name from time to time. The criminals run away every time they hear it and the problem is taken care of.  
Mayor: Brilliant plan Link! (Changing the subject) Link, I've been noticing you rubbing you're gloves a lot since we have been talking.  
Link: (Awkwardly looking down at his gloves) It's nothing…

::But it was something. The brown gloves shielding Link's hands contained the Triforce of Courage, the powerful force that gave Link the ability to be all that he was, an unstoppable Hero. To Link, if he didn't have the Triforce of Courage, he wouldn't be half the Hero he was::

Mayor: Link, would you stay and protect Termina Field? Clear out the crime as you did in Hyrule?  
Link: It would be my honor.  
Mayor: (Clapping repeatedly) Oh joy! Peace at last!

::The Mayor turns around and smiles at the window::

Mayor: While you're at it, could you save these little tiny kittens that have wondered off recently? I would really love them back.

::There was no response::

Mayor: Link?

::The Mayor turns around::  
::Link was gone::

Mayor: I guess the kittens will find their way home…

(Great Bay) **Termina Local Time: 6:55 P.M.**

::Link had just defeated an army by himself::  
::Link was at the top of his game::  
::Life was just grand for this young soldier::  
::Link skips along the side of the lake::  
::He was smiling joyfully::  
::He started to sing to himself::

Link: (Singing) I am the best in the Land. Life is great. Hey! Look to my right, a lake…

::Link spots a trippy looking scarecrow ahead of him::  
::The scarecrow was dancing along the river, enjoying the same sense of happiness Link had::  
::Link's plan was to ignore the trippy scarecrow, but there was something alluring about the scarecrow::  
::Link felt as if he knew the scarecrow from sometime before::  
::He stops in front of the scarecrow::

Scarecrow: Weeee…. Hehe…. Loooove fire. Looooove magic tricks.  
Link: Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?  
Scarecrow: Haha. It's you.  
Link: What do you mean?  
Scarecrow: Explosive Shoes.  
Link: (opening one eye) Explosive Shoes, eh?

::Link remembers the name clearly. They were Ecstasy Pills he used to buy years ago during his drug days::  
:::They were the most reckless days of Links life, and quite frankly, the most unproductive. He was better off forgetting about that chapter completely::

Scarecrow: Want to take some?  
Link: (Without hesitation) Absolutely.

::Link figured he was on top of the world right now::  
::The Hero of two lands. Defeating a whole Army by himself::  
::Why not try these Explosive Shoes, and celebrate just once. He deserved it::

Link: (Anxiously) Quickly, to my house.

(Clock Town)** Termina Local Time: 7:30 P.M.**  
(Link's House)

::Link and the Scarecrow pop two pills each::  
::An hour later, they slowly trance into a high speed ecstasy trip::

Link: I thought I was confident before, but wow.  
Scarecrow: Soooo good. Great ecstasy.

::Link and the Scarecrow start to dance::  
::Folk music with a mix of trance was blurring in the background::  
::Link starts to stomp his feet quickly, dancing to the rhythm of the music::  
::The scarecrow starts to spin around hastily, doing a scarecrow dane::  
::Link shows off his sword skills::  
::The scarecrow shows off his fireball forming skills::

Link: We need beer.

::Link sends the scarecrow to fetch beer::  
::The scarecrow comes back with three kegs of Hyrules finest on a roller::  
::Link and the Scarecrow drink their livers away::  
::Link's world flips upside down::  
::He and the Scarecrow were laughing constantly, dancing, and cheering their beers::  
::He had several occasions of high fives::  
::Link gets ballsy and pops one more ecstasy pill::  
::The rest of the night was history::

Day 1  
"This is not good"

(Clock Town) **Termina Local Time: 8:50 A.M.**  
(Links House)

::Link awakens in an obliterated body ache::  
::His head was ravishingly hurting::  
::All of his muscles were sore::  
::His hair was matted and sticking up::  
::Once he was finally able to clear the blurriness from his vision, he noticed that his entire house was torn to pieces::

Link: (Grumbling) What a night.

::Link stumbles over to the window and opens it::  
::The light strikes his eyes like a light arrow just hit him::  
::Link shuts his window quickly::  
::He notices that the scarecrow was gone::  
::He looks down and noticed that an important piece of himself was missing::  
::His hands were completely exposed::  
::His beloved Triforce of Courage was gone::

Link: I was robbed!

::Instantly, Link felt less courageous::

Link: (In a hung-over rage) No! This can't be happening!

(Outside of Link's House) **Termina Local Time: 9:05 A.M.**

::Link runs out of his house looking like he just crept out of an underground rave::  
::His eyes were wide and bloodshot::  
::He proceeded to start shaking random people, literally yelling in their faces::

Link: Have you seen a scarecrow?!

::Link moves to the next innocent bystander::

Link: A scarecrow! Have you seen one?!  
Random Person: (Calmly) Not in these neck of the woods. Link, what has gotten into you?  
Link: I need to find a scarecrow!  
Random Person: (To his friend) Maybe he's just shook up from all the battles he's fought and won.  
Random Person #2: Yeah that's it. Link, you're too incredible for your own good.  
Link: Listen you ignorant pig's asshole, if I don't find my courage, there will be no more battles won!

::The two random people walk off, laughing and shaking their heads::

Link: (Shocked) I am in so much trouble.

(Mayor's Office) **Termina Local Time: 4:30 P.M.**

::After several hours of an ongoing investigation, no one had seen the scarecrow::  
::Link even searched the Great Bay. No scarecrow::  
::He hadn't eaten, he hadn't drank, he hadn't pissed or took a dump::  
::He decided to visit the Mayors office for his last act of desperation::

::Link barges into the mayor's office::  
::A group of guards were behind Link, staring at him with great concern::

Link: Mayor. Have you seen a scarecrow?  
Mayor: What is the matter Link? You look puzzled.  
Link: (Quickly) Have you seen a scarecrow today? About five feet tall, walking around, has a circular hat. He looks like a scarecrow who has smoked the finest crack in all of the land. I really need to find this scarecrow. Have you-  
Mayor: (Interrupting) Hold on Link. Calm down. No, I have not seen a scarecrow today.  
Link: (Pulling his hair) Nooooo….  
Mayor: But there is this one place to the North of the Lake. It is called Scarecrow's Wharf. It's where all of the scarecrow's dwell. A very distasteful and immoral place if you ask me. Half of the kidnappings in this village happen because of that place. It is a highly dangerous place. I recommend no soul to ever go near there unless they have a death wish. You should-

::Before the Mayor could finish, Link had already run out of the office, having pushed over two guards on the way::

Mayor: (Smiling) Look at Link, so eager to get the job done. I like that.

(Great Bay) **Termina Local Time: 6:21 P.M.**  
(Scarecrow's Warf)

::It was nighttime::  
::A group of scarecrow's sat around a campfire::  
::There were all kinds of scarecrows: Magic scarecrows, thieve scarecrows, and fighting scarecrows::  
::They were all practicing forming fire from their hands::  
::They danced drunkenly around the fire::  
::Suddenly, one of the scarecrow's was snatched from behind::  
::The scarecrow's mouth was shielded by a random hand::  
::The scarecrow was taken behind a tree::  
::The random person was Link::  
::Link puts the scarecrow in a forceful, intense arm lock::

Link: (aggressively) Where is the trippy scarecrow?  
Scarecrow: (In pain) Who are you talking about?!  
Link: He stole a pair of gloves that were very dear to me. Where is he?

::Link pulls harder on the scarecrow's arms::

Scarecrow: He left for Hyrule a few hours ago.  
Link: Oh really?  
Scarecrow: Yes. He seemed highly confident all of a sudden. He was seducing and having sex with beautiful women in Clock Town all day. I have never seen him so confident. I was extremely jealous.  
Link: (To himself) Bastard.  
Scarecrow: That's all I know. Please don't rip my straw arms off.  
Link: I'm gonna rip more then that if you're lying to me.

::Link releases his grip and disappears into the darkness::

**Termina Local Time: 8:10 P.M**

::Link gathers all of his important items for his trip to Hyrule::  
::He packs away three tunics, three pairs of boots, a ridiculous amount of arrows and bombs, every type of power arrow, a bottle of Advil, and a picture of him flexing his muscles in workout clothes (He had to keep his confidence up)::  
::Links courage was gone::  
::The force that made him the strong, courageous Hero he was::  
::He felt a lot less courageous::  
::He needed to get that feeling back, at all costs::  
::He needed to travel to Hyrule, find that thieving bastard that took his Triforce of Courage, and take back what was rightfully his::  
::He decided to get some rest. He was going to need it::  
::Tommorow, he will make his move::


	2. Day 2

**Link had started writing in a diary. He felt that it was therapeutic and a neat new hobby that would help him get his mind off of things. He enjoyed feeling like a Hero with a sensitive side. He had such a hectic lifestyle, and felt that a diary would help take the edge off things.**

**Link's Day 1 Diary:**

**I made a horrible mistake.**

**Yesterday, I saved Termina Field from an Army of Monsters. I conquered the whole Army by myself.**

**I wanted to celebrate. I ended up partying with this scarecrow that I used to buy drugs from a few years ago. I should of kept it strictly business, but instead I ended up taking ecstasy and partying with this scarecrow all night long. I awoke the next morning, only to find that my beloved Triforce of Courage had be stolen.**

**It was the Scarecrow!**

**I got a few leads. The Scarecrow has headed for Hyrule. I must find him and take back what is mine! Courage or not!**

Day 2  
"Am I still a Hero?"

**Setting: Link woke up at 4:00 A.M. His plan was to escape Termina Field early before anyone woke up.**

(Clock Town) **Termina Local Time: 4:23 A.M.**  
(Entrance to the Town)

::Link was firmly straddled on Epona::  
::He had all of his essentials to last him the next two weeks::  
::He figured two weeks was the maximum amount of time that he needed to find the scarecrow and take back his Triforce of Courage::

Link: (Confidently) Let's do this Epona.

::Epona starts walking out of the town, heading towards Hyrule::

?: Stop!

::A random shout from heard from the background::  
::Epona stops in confusion::  
::The Mayor of Castle Town walks out of nowhere::

Mayor: Link! Where do you think you're going?  
Link: (Lying) A morning ride with Epona.  
Mayor: (Laughing) Oh Link. Have you forgotten what day it is?  
Link: (Aggravated) Please remind me.  
Mayor: It's the Annual Bow N' Arrow Contest. It starts at ten this morning!

::Links eyes widen::

Mayor: (Chuckling) Out of all people Link. I thought you would of remembered.  
Link: (Quickly) Can't make it. I have some errands I need to run that are very important.

::The Mayor giggles and directs Epona the other way::  
::Epona tries to tug the Mayor away, trying to help Link out, but the Mayor overpowered him::

Mayor: Always making a joke out of a serious situation. I love your sense of humor Link!

::Link knew he couldn't do this Bow N'Arrow Contest without his courage::  
::He needed to be highly confident and focused::

Link: (Under his breath) I'm so screwed.

(Link's House) **Termina Local Time: 5:05 A.M.**

::Link paces around his house frantically, trying to find an excuse to get out off going to the contest::

Link: (Naming off possible excuses) I hurt my leg. I fell ill. Epona doesn't want to go. I forgot how to use my Bow N' Arrow. I took too many drugs the other night. Fuck.

::Link plops down on his bed and runs his hands through his hair::

Link: Hyrule is in trouble, I must save the day. That would work! I'll tell everyone that!

(Mayor's Office) **Termina Local Time: 5:55 A.M.**

Link: (very enthusiastic)…. and this hoard of goblins just rushed into Hyrule. I have to attend to this mess!

::Link portrayed a very convincing event, mixed with a great amount of hand gestures::  
::The Mayor looks at Link with dimmed eyes, concentrating hard::  
::His right hand was shielding his mouth::

Mayor: It would be such a tragedy if you missed this, Link.  
Link: A horrible tragedy.

::A loud mix of sounds were heard outside::  
::Screaming, laughing, and sounds of trumpets, drums, and tambourines were all making noise simultaneously::  
::It was a huge celebration::  
::Nothing but happiness was being conveyed from this joyous occasion::  
::The Mayor turns around and opens his window to see what all the fuss was about::

Random Person Outside: Hyrule is at it's most peaceful era yet! Absolutely zero crime rate!

::The Mayor turns around, smiling::

Mayor: Great news Link. Hyrule is-

::Before he could finish his sentence, he noticed that Link was gone::

(Termina Field) **Termina Local Time: 7:40 A.M.****  
**(Arrow Shooting Range)

::Link stood before three faded brown, used up practicing targets::  
::Each target was at different distances about 100 feet apart::  
::He stood with his Bow N'Arrow armed in his hand::  
::He had fifty arrows resting in a bag on his back::  
::It was a slightly windy, sunny day::

Link: (Reassuring himself) Why am I scared? (Confidently) I can do this.

::Link pulls out an arrow from his bag and pulls it back with his Bow::

Link: With the Earth and the Wind, this Arrow and I shall become one….

::Link did not feel confident::  
::Link shoots the arrow, jerking with uncertainty and moving back and forth in confusion::  
::The arrow goes immediately into the ground::

Link: Great.

::The arrow snaps in half::  
::Link tries again thirty times with each try resulting in the same outcome::  
::Link attempts anything to make himself feel better to avoid having a nervous breakdown::

Link: Ah, maybe shootin' arrows wasn't for me after all.

::Link laughs it off::  
::He then gulps in fear::

(Termina Field Archery Contest) **Termina Local Time 10:05 A.M.**

::The field where the Archery Contest took place was shaped like a football field::  
::On both sides sat hundreds of people from Termina Field::  
::The seats went upward::  
::Security stood at the bottom of the seats::  
::On each side of the field was a set of six targets, each at different lengths::  
::There were numerous signs and pictures promoting Link's success::  
::A red wooden gate opens from the North side of the field::  
:Link's opponent: a tall, stern looking man with a thin mustache, rides out from the gate onto the field::  
::He looked very poetic and his clothes were very artsy with a range of purple and black colors::  
::He was very serious and concentrated::  
::He was riding a white horse that ran very quickly::  
::His name was Rafael::

Rafael: I feel confident enough to defeat one of the greatest archers in the land.

::Rafael laughs softly to himself::  
::A blue wooden gate opens from the South Side of the field::  
::Link rides out on Epona::  
::The crowd surrounding the field cheers ten times louder than they did for Rafael::

Link: (Nervously) Oh yeah!

::Link pulls out his Bow N'Arrow to amp up the crowd::  
::After just a few seconds, he clumsily loses his grip of the Bow::  
::He attempts to recover the Bow by trying to grab it numerous times, juggling it in his hands, but eventually drops it onto the grass, embarrassing himself completely::  
::Everyone in the arena becomes silent and confusingly stares at Link::  
::Link had to quickly think of a slick recovery to his careless mistake::  
::He jumps off Epona confidently, smiles, walks around Epona a couple times, stretches, leans down casually, and picks up his Bow::

Link: (Making up an excuse to cover up his mistake) Didn't break. Always a good test.

::The audience didn't look convinced::

Rafael: Hmmm…

::Link awkwardly jumps back on Epona::

Link: (changing the subject) (Screaming) Prepare for defeat!

::Link charges Epona towards the middle of the field::  
::He sat face to face with Rafael::  
::The two had to shoot the targets while their horses were running::  
::Suddenly, a random horn sounds::  
::Link and Rafael turn around on their horses and charge opposite ways::  
::Link starts to shoot his arrows at the random targets  
::Rafael did the same::  
::Each target got further in distance::  
::Link was doing great at the beginning, hitting all six targets::  
::Rafael hit all six targets as well::  
::At the end of the first six targets, the targets moved back fifty feet::  
::Link and Rafael ride down the targets for another run::  
::Link misses all of the targets except one::  
::Rafael hits all of his targets::  
::Link becomes frustrated::  
::The targets start to move from side to side now::  
::Link misses the first four targets::  
::Rafael hits all of them but one::  
::Link becomes angry::  
::He looks to his left and sees a lock holding up a tall wooden poll that supported a flag that was blowing over the arena::  
::Link shoots the lock with his arrow::  
::The lock becomes undone and the wooden poll starts to fall towards the field::  
::Rafael looks up and sees the poll falling down on him::  
::He quickly jumps off his horse and the poll lands on his horse, injuring his horse greatly::  
::Everyone in the audience looks at Rafael and his horse in shock, diverting their attention away from Link::  
::Link rides out of the arena while everyone wasn't looking::

Rafael: (From the ground, looking at Link) This isn't over, Link.

(Clock Town) **Termina Local Time: 11:10 A.M.**

::Link had to retrieve one more item from his house before he left::  
::He had to do it quickly::  
::Suddenly he spots the Bread Store being invaded by a tall, fat man in red overalls::  
::Several people were outside of the store trying to scream for help::  
::Four of the Castle Town guards run out of the store, screaming for their lives::  
::Link knew he was the one to save the day::  
::He couldn't resist. He had to do something::  
::Link gets off Epona and walks toward the Bread Shop::  
::The fat man was inside, shoving all of the bread into a large bag::

Link: Stop at once!

::The fat man recognized Link's voice and turned around::

Fat Man: You want a piece of me?

::The fat man starts walking towards Link with his fists balled::  
::Link gulps::  
::Four of the Castle Town guards shook nervously behind Link::  
::A huge crowd of people surrounded Link and the fat man::  
::The fat man swings his fist at Link::  
::Link dodges and pulls out his sword::  
::He hits the fat man with his shield::  
::The fat man moves backwards::  
::Link charges for the man with his sword, trying to impale him in an area that would stun him::  
::The fat man grabs Link and starts to punch him consistently in the face::  
::Link wobbles in confusion::  
::The fat man grabs Link and throws him into a building::  
::The crowd surrounding the fight shielded their mouths in disbelief::  
::Link laid on the ground::  
::The fat man walks over Link, picks him up and swings him around in a circle powerfully::  
::Link pukes::  
::The fat man tosses Link up in the air::  
::Link disappears over the horizon::

(Edge of Termina Field)

::Link falls from the sky and lands in the mud::  
::He sits up and looks at Clock Town::

Link: So long….

::Link plays Eponas song::  
::Epona shows up, concerned::  
::Link jumps on Epona and rides towards Hyrule:


	3. Day 3

**Link's Day 2 Diary:**

**Right now I am riding through the woods towards Hyrule. My Triforce of Courage has been stolen from me by that deceiving Scarecrow. I have no confidence in anything anymore. **

**I was forced to go to the annual yearly Archery Contest yesterday and I managed to escape. I tried to stop the Bread Store from getting robbed and I failed at that as well. **

**I can't be the Hero I was before. I must get back my courage, even if it means going to the most extreme measures! **

**I'm kind of nervous, I've been gone from Hyrule for two years...**

Day 3  
"Link in Pink"

**Setting: Link arrived at Hyrule early in the morning. He decided the best place to start his journey searching for the Scarecrow would be to find and question the Scarecrow's at Lake Hylia**

(Hyrule Field)  
(Lake Hylia) **Hyrule Local Time: 6:45 A.M.**

::Link walks up to the first scarecrow he sees::

Scarecrow: Hey. Long time no see.

::Link lifts his bow up at the scarecrow and arms a fire arrow::

Scarecrow: Whoa!  
Link: Where is your friend with the new gloves?!  
Scarecrow: (Confused) W-What?

::Link shoots the Scarecrow::  
::The Scarecrow goes up in flames::

Link: Where is he?!  
Scarecrow: (Speaking quickly) Castle Town at the bar The Naked Lion. He doesn't leave often. You have to go inside to find him. He's popular now! Very popular!

::Link doesn't waste any time and immediatly gets on Epona, riding off::  
::The flaming Scarecrow runs for the lake and dives in::

(Castle Town) **Hyrule Local Time: 8:05 A.M.**

::Link walks around Castle Town, searching for the bar::  
::He spots a local newspaper stand::  
::On front of the first newspaper Link sees, he spots the scarecrow in a black business suit and tie::  
::Underneath the picture, it says "The Next Big Thing"::  
::Link turns red and balls up the newspaper::

Link: Son of a bitch!

::The newspaper stand owner stares at Link::

Link: (At the owner) You lookin' at something!

::Link continued to walk::  
::He expected numerous people to run up to him in excitement of his return::  
::Everyone walks around like he wasn't even there::

Link: (Confused) Hmmm….

::Suddenly, a macho man walks by and grabs Link's ass::

Macho Man: Tight ass.

::Link scratches his head in confusion and keeps walking::  
::He suddenly spots the bar "The Naked Lion"::  
::He walks up to the door, takes a deep breath, and starts to open the door::  
::Out of nowhere, a guard to his right blocks him with his sword::

Club Guard: Sorry. Bar is closed.  
Link: (Casually) Come on. You know me. Link. The Hero of Time and the Savior of the Twilight Realm.  
Club Guard: (Shocked) Oh hey Link!  
Link: (Laughing) Hey there. Alright, well talk to you later.  
Club Guard: (Continuing to block Link) Sorry. No homosexuals allowed.

::The guard points to his left, showing Link a sign that read "No Homos Allowed"::

Link: But I'm not gay.  
Club Guard: Of course you are. I still completely respect you. It's fine if you're gay, Link.

::Link thinks back to when he tried to bust Ganondorf three years ago for running a prostitution brothel::  
::Ganondorf thought Link was a women and accidentally had sex with him while he was unconscious::  
::His reputation has been doomed ever since::

Club Guard: (Laughing) Link in Pink. I love that nickname. You should be proud to finally get that secret off your chest.  
Link: (Turning red) Well this may surprise you, but I'm not gay. I never was.  
Club Guard: You don't have to feel embarrassed.  
Link: I swear I'm not gay! I'll prove it.  
Club Guard: (Laughing harder) Good luck.

::Link felt like barging into the club right there. He had the power to do it, but this was personal::  
::He had to prove to Hyrule that he wasn;t gay, once and for all::

**::Link moved to Termina Field for two reasons: because crime was under control, and because everyone in Hyrule thought he was a flaming homosexual::  
****::For the past three years, everyone in Hyrule thought Link had a sizzling relationship with Ganondorf::  
****::Link tried so many things to clear his unfortunate reputation, but nothing seemed to work::  
****::Everyone in Hyrule didn't seem to mind::  
****::They still considered him a Hero, but a Hero who walked the other line::  
****::This bothered Link greatly::  
****::He has been plagued by the reputation of being a gay guy for three straight years::  
****::It was time for him to prove to Hyrule that he is the testosterone fueled, heterosexual Hero he is supposed to be::  
****::Link's plan was to go to Lon Lon Ranch, get Malon, take her to Castle Town, and pretend he was dating her::  
****::Link was one hundred percent confident that Malon would do this for him being that they shared such an extensive past::**

(Lon Lon Ranch) **Hyrule Local Time: 10:50 A.M.  
**(Malon's House)

::Link walks in::  
::The house was quiet::  
::He walks upstairs::  
::Link slowly opens Malon's door::  
::Malon sat before him, combing her hair::

Link: Hello Malon.  
Malon: Oh hi Link. Back from Termina Field?  
Link: I need a huge favor.  
Malon: Give you head again? Link, give me some notice first.  
Link: N-No. Listen, I need you to come to Castle Town with me and act like my girlfriend. I have something really important I need to do and I need Hyrule to realize I'm not gay.  
Malon: But you are.  
Link: (Confused) No I'm not Malon.

::Malon stands up and walks up to Link, smiling::

Malon: Yeah you are. You're with Ganondorf. How are you two? I bet the sex is a little "confrontational", eh?

::Malon nudges Link jokingly::

Link: Malon. I will have sex with you right now to prove I'm not gay.  
Malon: I don't think Ganondorf would like that.  
Link: (Busting out in an intense angry rage) That's it!

::Link grabs Malon and starts making out with her::  
::He grabs her ass and tries to pull off her dress::

Malon: (Mumbling) Enough Link!  
Link: I'm not gay! I'm a Hero!  
Malon: (Screaming) Help!

::Mr. Ingo rushes into the room, holding a horse satchel with his pants to his ankles::

Mr. Ingo: (Grumpily) What's so important that my sex with ol' Missy had to be interrupted?

::Mr. Ingo grabs Link from behind::  
::Link pushes Mr. Ingo backwards::  
::Mr. Ingo tumbles down the stairs and hits his head, passing out::

Link: Fine. I don't need your help Malon. I'll show Hyrule. I'll show them all!  
Malon: You're so in denial Link!

(Kokiri Forest)  
(Link's Hut) **Hyrule Local Time: 11:35 A.M.**

::Link writes a letter to Ganondorf::  
::The letter read "In trouble. Need to talk. Meet me at the Castle Town Café Bar at 5:00 P.M. today"::  
::Link gives the letter to a bird waiting outside::  
::The bird flies off and disappears into the sky::  
::Link spends the rest of the day trying to avoid everyone outside::  
::Random people tried to visit his house, but he ignored them::  
::He stalled time until his meeting with Ganondorf::

(Castle Town) **Hyrule Local Time: 5:10 P.M.  
**(Café Bar)

::Ganondorf walks up to the Cafe wearing casual jeans, a tropical shirt, and a long circular hat that closely resembled a sombrero::  
::Link waves from the table he was sitting at::

Ganondorf: Fairy Boy! Long time no see!

::The two hug::

Link: (Impatiently) Have a seat.  
Ganondorf: O-Ok.

::Link looks around the shop. Everyone was glancing at the two, then looking back at their friends and giggling::  
::Link slides the picture to Ganondorf of the two in bed together after Ganondorf brutally raped Link accidentally in The Link Life 1::

Ganondorf: (Oblivious) Wow. I look great naked.  
Link: That's not the point. We have to do something about our reputation.  
Ganondorf: (Jumping to conclusions) We're screwed. Plain and simple.  
Link: (Angrily) No, we are not.  
Ganondorf: Let's just accept that we're gay. It's actually not that bad if you think about it.  
Link: It's very bad! I'm a Hero. Not a fag!

::Everyone at the Café looks at Link::

Link: I don't wear pink, I wear green. Green Ganon!

::Link shouts and bangs his hand on the table::

Ganondorf: Ok. Ok. Relax.  
Link: There's gotta be some way we both can convince Hyrule we don't, ya know….  
Ganondorf: Clean out each others tail pipes.  
Link: We have to convince this field that we are not gay, and that that night was just an accident. It was just an accident right? You didn't actually want to fuck me in my ass, right?  
Ganondorf: (Awkwardly) That was not my intention, no.  
Link: Ok. Let's sleep on it tonight. Tomorrow we will figure out a plan.  
Ganondorf: Sounds great! Can I spend the night with you?  
Link: No. That would make our situation look very bad.  
Ganondorf: Oh yeah, the gay thing. Got it.  
Link: You can sleep outside. I don't want anyone getting any impressions.  
Ganondorf: Great idea Fairy Boy.


	4. Day 4

**Link's Day 3 Diary:**

**Today I must come up with a plan to prove to Hyrule that I'm not gay. I need Hyrule to know that I am a straight man so I can get into this club where the Scarecrow is and take back my Triforce of Courage! **

**The Scarecrow stole my Triforce of Courage from me back in Termina Field. I must get my Triforce of Courage back from this club! **

**I tried to get Malon to act like my girlfriend but she thinks I'm gay just like everyone else. Ganondorf is my only hope.**

**He and I must come up with a plan to prove we are straight once and for all. **

Day 4  
"I'll show you all!"

**Setting: Link woke up bright and early. His plan was to meet with Ganondorf and form a plan to prove to all of Hyrule that Ganondorf and him were NOT gay. **

(Kokiri Forest) **Hyrule Local Time: 6:20 A.M.  
**(Link's Hut)

::Link and Ganondorf sat at a table and tried to brainstorm some ideas::

Link: (Naming of possible solutions) We could both try to find a girl and start making out with them in front of everyone in Castle Town.  
Ganondorf: I'm not good at getting women. I'm shy.  
Link: We could arrange some sort of meeting and announce that we are not gay.

::Ganondorf snaps his fingers::

Ganondorf: Perfect! I agree with that.  
Link: Ok. We need some sort of posters to announce the meeting. Ganon, I need you to find posters.  
Ganondorf: (Snapping his fingers) I'll steal them from the Arts and Crafts store.  
Link: Ok. I'll post them up around Castle Town and other areas where people are forced to read them. We must act immediately if we are to accomplish this today Ganon.  
Ganondorf: (Lifting his hand up for a high-five) Let's become straight men!

::Link and Ganondorf high-five each other::  
::Fifteen minutes later, Link and Ganondorf walk out, going their separate ways to accomplish their duties::

(Castle Town) **Hyrule Local Time: 7: 05 A.M.  
**(Arts and Crafts Store)

::Ganondorf walks in::  
::He starts whistling to himself and looking around suspiciously::  
::The employee at the counter stares at him::  
::Ganondorf walks out of site, looking over his shoulder::  
::He puts five black markers and two cans of glitter in his pockets while he was walking::  
::He walks into the isle with the poster boards::  
::He shoves 30 of the posters under his shirt, hiding his actions with a loud cough::

(Castle Town) **Hyrule Local Time: 7:10 A.M.**

::Link walks around Castle Town, waiting for Ganondorf::  
::He spots an attractive blonde woman walking past him::  
::He gets a spontaneous idea::  
::He grabs the woman and starts making out with her aggressively::  
::The woman screams and slaps Link across his face::  
::Link looks around to see if his actions caused any sort of attention::  
::No one looked at him. They kept walking::  
::No one seemed to care::

Link: (Shocked) You've gotta be kidding me….

(Kokiri Forest) **Hyrule Local Time: 7:45 A.M.  
**(Link's Hut)

::Ganondorf puts all of the items he stole on the table::

Link: Great work Ganon.  
Ganondorf: Thanks Fairy Boy.  
Link: I'll start on the posters. Wait outside so people won't think we are having sex.  
Ganondorf: (Nudging Link jokingly) But what if they thought we did.

::Ganondorf chuckles::

Link:….

Ganondorf: Right then.

::Ganondorf walks out and stands post::

(Castle Town) **Hyrule Local Time: 8:50 A.M. **

::Link walks around Castle Town with thirty white posters that read, "Link and Ganondorf invite you to a town meeting today at 5:00 P.M. Be there or be forever clueless::  
::Link tried to make it as catchy as possible::  
::Link posts the posters on light poles, food stands, and in front of stores::  
:He observes people's reactions as they read the signs::  
::The people look over at Link and smile::  
::Link and Ganondorf hang out in Kokiri Forest and stall time until the meeting::

(Castle Town) **Hyrule Local Time: 12:10 P.M.  
**(The Club "The Naked Lion")

::The Scarecrow sits on a long circular, purple couch with two half naked women on both sides of him::  
::He wore a black fedora with a nice dark red, short sleeved shirt and dressy black pants::  
::Four of his henchmen sat on the other side of the couch::  
::The henchmen were dressed in black dress suites and wore sunglasses::  
::They were all drinking fine alcohol drinks::  
::The room was full of cigar smoke mixed with the smell of sensual incents::

Henchman #1: Have you heard?  
Scarecrow: Heard what?  
Henchman #1: There's a town meeting today. That Link guy is going to be there.  
Scarecrow: He is in town? Hmmm… this could get interesting.

::The Scarecrow looks at the women on his left::

Scarecrow: Go get me another drink.  
Women: Yes my sweet daddy.

::The women gets up::  
::The Scarecrow slaps her ass::  
::The Scarecrow wore Link's gloves snuggly on his hands. The gloves were Link's Triforce of Courage::

(Castle Town) **Hyrule Local Time: 5:00 P.M.**

::Link and Ganondorf had a large stage set up in the middle of Castle Town::  
::They had several posters clipped to the stage that had Anti-Gay messages::  
::They had two chairs where they sat and one microphone on a stand in the middle of the stage::  
::All of Castle Town and people from other villages and towns gathered before the stage::  
::People talked loudly::  
::Link walks up to the microphone::

Link: (In the microphone) Hello. Hello.

::The audience falls silent::

Link: As you all know, Ganondorf and I are presumed as homosexuals.

::Everyone in the audience looks at each other in strong agreement::

Link: But I have to let you all know, we are not gay. We never have been. That night when Ganondorf and I were caught in bed was just a mistake. I know it looks convincing, but it was all accidental. We are not gay, and never will be.

::Link looks behind him at Ganondorf::

Link: Ganon, do you have some words….

::Ganondorf walks up to the microphone::

Ganondorf: What he said.

::Ganondorf sits back down::

Link: So there you have it. We are straight, masculine, heterosexual men.

::Everyone was silent in the audience::  
::Everyone stared at Link in utter disbelief::

Link: The meeting is adjourned.

(Kokiri Forest) **Hyrule Local Time: 7:20 P.M.  
**(Link's Hut)

Link: I think we proved our point today.  
Ganondorf: I sure hope so.

::Ganondorf holds out his hand::

Ganondorf: I guess this is goodbye, Fairy Boy.  
Link: Goodbye Ganon. Thank you for your help.

::The two shake hands::  
::Ganondorf grabs his things and walks out::  
::Link watches him leave with a smile::  
::Ganondorf gets on his black horse and rides off::  
::Link's smile turns to a serious face::  
::He plays Epona's song::  
::Epona shows up::  
::Link hopes on Epona and rides off, slowly following Ganondorf::

(Gerudo Desert) **Hyrule Local Time: 9:05 P.M.  
**(Cave of Ordeals)

::Ganondorf gets off his horse outside of the Cave of Ordeals::  
::Link posts up with Epona off in the distance to avoid being seen::  
::He spies on Ganondorf from behind a sand dune::  
::Ganondorf does a crazy, off the wall dance as he makes his way into the cave::  
::He looked very happy::

Link: Hmmmm….

::Once Ganondorf disappeared into the cave, Link ties up Epona on a nearby piece of wood and starts to run towards the cave::  
::Ganondorf's horse starts to neigh loudly to alert Ganondorf::  
::Link quickly stuns the horse with a Deku Nut::  
::He stands at the entrance of the cave, and then slowly proceeds into the cave with caution::

(Cave of Ordeals)

::Link makes his way through the cave::  
::He hears Ganondorf in the distance, humming Link's Theme Song loudly::  
::He spots Ganondorf walk into a room::  
::Link hides outside the room for what seemed like forever::  
::After a long wait, Ganondorf walks out of the room and back towards the entrance of the cave::  
::Link hides behind a statue::  
::Ganondorf walks past him and towards the entrance::  
::Link creeps out from behind the statue and towards the room Ganondorf was in::  
::Ganondorf left the door open::  
::Link walks into the room::  
::The room was lit up with several torches with a smell of women's perfume::  
::Link accidentally walks into a kid sized toy car, two mouse traps, and a blonde bikini blow up doll::  
::There was a huge shrine in front of Link that contained what seemed like a hundred candles with a statue in front of it that looked like a Gerudo God::  
::There was a drawing in the middle of the shrine that showed Hyrule Castle on fire::  
::Messages were tacked around the picture that read "Death to Hyrule", "Kill Link", and "I'm a little Schoolgirl"::  
::Link scratches his head in confusion::  
::Link looks to his left and it shows a huge picture of Link, with a sharp dart stuck in the middle of his head::

Link: (To himself) Ganondorf still wants to take over Hyrule.

::Link balls his fists::

Link: He must be stopped.

::Link couldn't do it without his Triforce of Courage::  
::First thing was first, he had to find the Scarecrow and take back what was his::


End file.
